


At least he has great abs

by Irisen



Series: Romance is dead [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Celebrities, Football, M/M, Percy Being an Idiot, Politics, Social Media, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-08-03 07:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irisen/pseuds/Irisen
Summary: There's nothing quite like waking up to your mother texting you a picture of your soulmate's abs.





	1. The Terrible Not Good Discovery

**Penny (1:45) PERCY**

**Penny (1:45) Percy wake up!**

**Penny (1:46) pERCY**

**Penny (1:48) this is important!**

**Penny (1:49) Now is not the time to sleep, pERCY**

**Penny (1:52) when you see this, call me**

**Penny (1:55) wait no, dont. I dont want you to wake me up.**

**Penny (1:57) when you see this, go on twitter**

**Penny (1:59) you know, the app with the little blue bird**

**Penny (2:00) I'm sure you can figure it out**

**Penny (2:02) Anyways, DO IT**

 

**Cedric (4:20) MATE**

**Cedric (4:25) R u awake???**

**Cedric (4:26) shit is blowing up**

**Cedric (4:28) well not actually blowing upp**

**Cedric (4:30) shit call me back when u cake up**

**Cedric (4:31) wake up***

 

**Mum (6:00) Dear, I think we need to talk.**

 

**\---**

 

When Percy woke up this morning, it was to half a dozen missed calls and a good hundred text messages sent by his parents and, for some reasons, some of his friends. Him having to answer to a lot of people first thing in the morning was not exceedingly rare, in fact, it was part of his job, as Private Secretaryto the Minister of Foreign Affairs, to always be in contact with everyone in his department and outside of it. However, he did most of it on his work phone.

Considering this, he was understandably confused when, half-way through writing a polite reply to a random text he had gotten, he realised that he was holding his personal phone and that the person he was texting to was his mother, and not some annoying MP, like he had originally thought. It took several seconds of blearily blinking at his phone, which was still intermitently buzzing with each new texts he was recieving, to figure out that something was not quite right, and that he probably should start worrying it about it.

God, couldn't this have waited until he had had his coffee?

Wearily, he dragged himself out of his bed and made his way towards his kitchen, full set on making himself a triple-shot of espresso to get him through the wall of texts he was just starting to read through. According to what his parents and older brother sent him, something had happened during the night, something that was, apparently, so important that they  _absolutely_ had to contact him as soon as they learned about it, no matter that it was his first day of vacation since he landed his job under the Minister.

But then, considering the fact that he barely saw his family nowadays, it was very likely that they didn't even know that he had the day off. They didn't talk that often.

**> Mum (7:11) Good morning, what's wrong? Everyone's been texting me.**

He sent the text to a few of the people that had contacted him during the night, noting distantly that, when he pressed the button to text Cedric, a sound chimed in the man's room, which meant that he had decided to end his bar-crawl by coming back home. Since he had texted him until quite late in the night, Percy decided not to wake him up. They had only been flatmates for a few weeks, better not ruin their relationship so soon.

After finishing his first cup and utterly failing to wake himself up (he had stayed up reading until one am the night before, intending to sleep late the next morning), he made himself a new one, answering a few work-related messages while it brewed.

**Mum (7:25) Percy!**

**Mum (7:26) Good morning, how are you feeling darling?**

**> Mum (7:30) I'm fine. Thank you for asking.**

**> Mum (7:31) Why did you text me?**

**Mum (7:35) Oh, you haven't heard about it yet?**

**> Mum (7:36) About what?**

**Mum (7:40) Here : _www.thesun.co.uk/news/9078674/oliver-wood-soulmark-revealed/_**

Cringing a bit at the fact that he had to read an article written by  _The Sun_ , of all newspapers, Percy nonetheless clicked on it, finishing the rest of his espresso. When the page loaded, he was treated to a large picture featuring a nice set of abs and a flashing headline that said :

**[BREAKING NEWS:] Oliver Wood's soulmark revealed!**

The shots having worked his way to his brain by now, he didn't have any trouble recognising the large ink owl that was spread out on the man's chest. After all, it was the exact same one he himself bore, in the exact same place. The two marks were perfectly identical, down to the smallest feather and, in the world they lived in, it could only mean one thing.

Oliver Wood was his soulmate.

Upon realising this, the first thing Percy thought was ' _Fuck_ ', because having a soulmate and being in politics was a double-edged sword and one he would have gladly avoided wielding. On one hand, it made you much more popular in the eyes of the public and him, being the youngest MP in Parliament, needed as much popular support he could get, but, on the other hand, it made you much more vulnerable.

And, of course, since he was just 21, he was already quite vulnerable, than you very much.

The second thing he thought of, however, was less calculating and a bit more genuine. It was, quite simply :  _'Who even is Oliver Wood?'_

Because Percy, who had never opened a tabloid before in his life (except once when he was sick and it was the only thing available at the doctor's office), did not know anything about celebrities, at least when they were not of the political sort. He could only name a few popular singers and knew the faces of barely a dozen or so actors. As much as his friends tried to make him spend time with them, he did not go to the movies often, nor did he listen to much music.

Now a bit curious despite himself, because it was  _his soulmate_ he was thinking about, he typed the man's name online and, once the twenty or so articles that had popped up during the night about him accidentally revealing his soulmark at a party ( _and how stupid was that?_ ) were passed he found his Wikipedia page. The fact that his soulmate had one was not that impressive, of course. Every B-list celebrity had a Wikipedia page, hell, even  _he_ had one. And Fred and George too. And Ron's mate Harry. Wikipedia pages seemed to be a norm around him, rather than an exception.

**Oliver Wood**

  Oliver Wood (born 23 November 1997) is an English professional footballer who plays as goalkeeper both for English club **Manchester United** and for the  **England national team**. At   21 years old, he is already considered one of the best goalkeepers in the world (he won the **IFFHS World's Best Goalkeeper** award in 2017) and is considered one of the main driving   force behind the England national team return to power.

  Despite his age, Wood is suspected to be next in line to become captain of the national team, due to his recognised ability to strategise and command his teammates during games.      In January 2018, he was named "Best Young Player in the World" by the Guardian and has been internationally praised for his talent.

 **Contents** [Hide]

**1\. Club Career**

**1.1 Arsenal**

**1.2 Manchester United**

**2\. International Career**

**2.1 Youth**

**2.2 2016 Olympics**

**2.3 2018 World Cup**

**3\. Personal Life**

**5\. Career statistics**

**6\. Honours**

Alright.

So.

His soulmate was a professional football player, and a famous one at that.

Well, his siblings were going to be delighted once they heard about it. Which at least some of them had, going by the texts Charlie and Bill had sent him earlier this morning. Thankfully, he had not flaunted his mark around the younger members of the family so, with a bit of luck, maybe Ron and Ginny wouldn't remember what it looked like or make the connection with Wood's. They would be unsuferrable if they learned that he shared a mark with a football player.

With a bit of annoyance, he noticed that, when he scrolled down to reach the "Personal Life" part of the page, a picture of Wood's soulmark had already been included, it being considerably more blurry than it had been in the Sun's article. He stared blankly at the six-pack for a moment, thanking the lord that at least  _something_ was appealing about his soulmate, then turned back to his text app, in which his mother had been harassing him with questions and exclamation marks for the past twenty minutes.

**Mum (7:55) He's quite handsome, isn't he?**

**Mum (7:58) I can't wait to meet him!**

**Mum (7:59) He looks like such a polite boy**

**Mum (8:02) Did you know that he used to live in Scotland? :D**

**> Mum (8:05) No. Is that important?**

**Mum (8:08) Of course! Scotland is beautiful! Fred and George took me here last summer! :)**

**> Mum (8:10) How are they doing anyways?**

**Mum (8:15) Oh no darling, this isn't about your brothers, this is about you! I can't wait to tell your siblings.**

**> Mum (8:19) Bill and Charlie already know**

**Mum (8:24) That's too bad :( but Ginny and Ron will be delighted :P**

At the reminder that his younger brother and sister would soon be made aware of his situation, Percy groaned loudly and burried his face in his arms. This was supposed to be his day off, he had planned to spend it reading and watching stupid romance shows, not dealing with his siblings and their collective madness. Or with his soulmate for that matter. Why did he have to flash his abs anyways? It's not like his soulmark was in a very obvious place, like his wrists or his face, he could just have kept his shirt on and things would have been much better.

"I want to die." He whispered, head still on the wooden table.

The sentiment was one he was used to having, as dealing with the other MPs often woke up his latent murderous tendencies, as well as his depressive ones, but this time it was much,  _much_ worse. Because while MPs were only a temporary part of his life, his soulmate was here to stay, or at least he was supposed to, according to everything he had been taught since middle school.

Why did it have to be a footballer? Why couldn't it have been an accountant, a teacher or someone with a semi-respectable job? Footballers were crazy, footballers were...

They were kind of hot.

His soulmate was kind of hot.

Kind of very, very hot.

Flushing despite himself, he couldn't help but remember the picture of the man's chest. The guy was clearly fit, which was expected of a professional athlete, the kind of thing you only saw in movies or in magazines. In all of his life, Percy had never dreamed of being with someone who looked like this when he himself was one of the least seductive persons he knew, and that included the crusty MPs of the House of Commons.

Wood was probably used to top models throwing himself at him, what was he going to do with a guy like  _Percy_?

Bloody hell, this was such a mess.

Noticing that he was still in his pajamas, he hesitated before going back in his room to get dressed. The thought on wallowing on the couch in his sweatpants and large shirt was tempting for a while but he had to regain some form of dignity, even if it was only in the form of chinos and a sweater. He needed to feel a bit like this was a normal day and not the beginning of a long, painful ordeal.

He caught a glimpse of his soulmark as he undressed and it made him wince.

 

\---

 

**Trending : UK**

**1\. #Owlmark**

126k Tweets

**2\. #OliverWood**

80k Tweets

**3\. #MysteryMate**

13k Tweets

 

\---

 

 **Cactuslife** @emy99

Can we talk about how big that mark is tho  **#Owlmark**

   **United John** @johnjohn

  @Emy99 i mean its Wood youre talking about, the guys a legend

 

 **ShanaOwO** @shannna

I bet its another player! Like a French one! How cool would that be?  **#MysteryMate**

 **LilCxnt** @succmefather

  @shannna I bet its a rando who has no idea what tf is going on

   **WilliamsJane** @janewilliams20

  @shannna @succmefather I bet its Theresa May

   **LilCxnt** @succmefather

  @shannna @janewilliams20 I bet its ur mom

   **WilliamsJane** @janewilliams20

  @shannna @succmefather No u

 

 **Notice me** @senpaiii

Ok but why was the guy shirtless  **#OliverWood**

   **Alan Roman** @Alanaman

  @senpaiii with abs like that why wouldn't he be?

   **Pam Pam Girl** @pamtastic

  @senpaiii I don't think he expected someone to take a picture

   **Papa Furanku** @ripdanklord

  @senpaiii @pamtastic well ur a genius arent u

 

 **Hero Killer Bob** @wetrasheb

[pic]

when u accidentally show ur soulmark to the world  **#Owlmark**

   **John the panda** @pandadd

  @wetrasheb Whoopsiiiie

 

 **Cray Gslist** @funnyusername

Let's be honest,  **#MysteryMate** sounds like the name of a stupid TV-show.

   **Leah Darkseid** @leleah3

  @funnyusername Oh god no, don't give them ideas.

   **Lex Lothur** @baldandproud

  @funnyusername If we get to see Wood walk around shirtless, Id watch it

   **Hannah Abbots** @hannahrobbots

  @funnyusername It already exists in Japan!

   **Susan Colins** @arrowhead

  @funnyusername @hannahrobbots Of course it does... 

   **Hannah Abbots** @hannahrobbots

  @funnyusername @arrowhead It's actually pretty funny, most of it is people crying and hugging each other.

   **Cook Adams** @thatsraw

  @funnyusername @hannahrobbots So it's exactly like soccer then.

 

\---

 

**Reacting to Oliver Wood's SOULMARK [Shocking]**

802,969 views

 

[Comments]

Clickbaiting the shit out of this already

 **Katie Lovet** \- 1 hour ago

_23 replies - View all_

 

luv this vieo!!!!!!

 **Dan Man Man** \- 1 hour ago

 

Im pretty sure the guy did it on purpose and its all to get some free publicity. like that wouldnt surprise me. at all.

**Andrew Wood**

_11 replies - View all_

 

Y does everyone give a crap about this? hes just some soccer guy, not like hes famous or anythign. freakin europeans 

**Bobby Super**

_2 replies - View all_

 

**\---**

 

**The Wood situation [Serious Talk]**

100, 022 views

 

[Comments]

I don't think that it's ever going to be "morally good" to talk about someone private's life like that but Wood did bring it upon himself. Honestly, the one I feel bad for is his soulmate, they're going to have to deal with this shitstorm too, and they didn't ask for it. The one really at fault here is Wood, not the people talking about the situation. When you're in a position like his, you should be careful about what you do, especially if it can impact your soulmate's life like this did.

**Jibor**

_50 replies - View all_

 

\---

 

**Wood Soulmark - Meme compilation**

995, 761 views

 

\---

 

**Ten people who might just be Oliver Wood's soulmate**

  As we all know, two days ago Oliver Wood's soulmark was revealed to the world! As it turns out, he's not the only celebrity not to have found his match yet, so here is a list of all the famous people who could very well be his!

 

\---

 

In the eyes of the Owl by Wood99

Soccer - RPF, Oliver Wood - Fandom

 **No Archive Warnings Apply,** Reader|You/Oliver Wood, Oliver Wood, Reader|You, Romance, Soulmate, News

You discover that you share the same soulmark as Oliver Wood and you confront him about it. You two spend a night together...

                                                                              Language : English  Words : 12 665  Comments : 11  Kudos : 132  Bookmarks : 6  Hits : 2087

\---

**Penny (12:06) Percy we need to talk about this**

**Penny (12:10) It's been 3 days**

**Penny (12:14) If you don't answer, I'm coming to your place**

**> Penny (12:30) Penny, I'm working.**

**Penny (12:34) I don't care, this is about your soulmate!**

**Penny (12:36) You need to talk to him**

**> Penny (12:45) I don't want to.**

**Penny (12:48) Don't lie.**

**Penny (12:51) I'm coming to the flat tonight.**

**Penny (12:53) I'll bring some pie.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pullin an all-nighter to finish an essay and since I have the whole night in front of me I was like "whY not WriTe a Fic???"   
> So I wrote a fic.  
> I feel like dying now.


	2. In which the angst kicks in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh well this is a bit angsty.

Finding you by Alexxandra

Soccer - RPF, Oliver Wood - Fandom

 **No Archive Warnings Apply** , Oliver Wood/Reader|You, Oliver Wood, Reader|You, First Meetings, Soulmates, Romance, Fluff, One-Shot, Cute

After several months talking online, you and Oliver finally meet in London, where you share a romantic evening and a passionate night.

Language : English  Words : 3506  Comments : 2  Kudos : 15  Bookmarks : 3  Hits : 462                                   

Playing captain by GoalieLove

Soccer - RPF, Oliver Wood - Fandom

 **No Archive Warnings Apply** , Oliver Wood/Reader|You, Smut, PWP, One-Shot

Oliver needs to learn how to give orders to become a proper captain. You're more than willing to help.

Language : English  Words : 6399  Comments : 94  Kudos : 438  Bookmarks : 34  Hits : 5280                                 

Manchester (United) by the sea by Universal_Complaint

Soccer - RPF, Oliver Wood - Fandom

 **No Archive Warnings Apply** , Oliver Wood/Reader|You, Oliver Wood, Reader|You, Soulmates, SFW, Fluff, it's just a lot of fluff guys, a lot of cute stuff happens too

It's been one year since you've met Oliver and, today, on the anniversary on you seeing his mark for the first time, he's taking you to the beach.

Language : English  Words : 5787  Chapters : 4/7  Comments : 12  Kudos : 90  Bookmarks : 8  Hits : 3020                                

 

 

**Manchester (United) by the sea**

Universal_Complaint

**Summary :**

* * *

 It's been one year since you've met Oliver and, today, on the anniversary on you seeing his mark for the first time, he's taking you to the beach.

 **Chapter One :** Remember the snow?

* * *

 

Notes :

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

* * *

You two met in December.

The whole business with his soulmark had happened a few months before that and all the fuss and media outrage had been all but forgotten by the time you had finally gathered enough courage to go talk to him, and he himself seemed surprised that you would wait for so long before sending him a message. He didn't realize how difficult it was for regular people to talk to him, to feel able to contact him.

He was your soulmate and it meant that he belonged to you as much as you belonged to him but, sometimes, you felt like you didn't deserve him. As ridiculous as it may seem, everytime you woke up next to him you couldn't help but marvel at the fact that your soulmate was  _Oliver Wood_.  _The_ Oliver Wood. That he was there, that he was yours.

You two met in December.

It was snowing, but it was not the kind of snow that melts in one hour and that leaves behind a watery, dirty mess in less than one day. It was proper Christmas-movie snow, white and fluffy, one that made you want to be a kid all over again to be able to play in it. You were not a kid then but still, you enjoyed hitting your best friend with a few snow balls before leaving for work and, once you got there, you couldn't help but snap a quick picture of the snow-covered street you were standing in. It was beautiful.

The weather had been enough to distract you from something that occupied your thoughts for a few months now, something masculine, muscular and that went by the name of Oliver Wood. That something, you had recently contacted, managing to send a Twitter DM after weeks of hesitation and anxiety. Not the most romantic thing, contacting someone through DMs, but what else were you supposed to do when your soulmate lived in  _Manchester_ ? And, maybe it was not romantic, but it had worked. Not two hours later, Oliver had responded, with a lot of questions and a somewhat (very) cute selfie of him smiling at his camera.

You two had started talking.

At the time, you remember feeling a bit sad that you two couldn't meet up in person, that both your jobs stopped you from seeing each other. You wanted nothing more than to hold your soulmate's hand, to feel his warmth, his presence against you. You wanted to kiss him and claim him as yours. Because he was yours. You were made for each other, you were destined to be with each other.

And Oliver, Oliver had known.

To this day, you still don't know how he did it, how he figured it out. Maybe he picked up your bitterness from your text messages, or maybe you looked less enthusiastic in the pictures you sent him but, somehow, he managed to understand how you felt about the situation. And he did something about it.

He was good like this, able to know when something was wrong with you and able to help you work through it. This day in December would be the first time he showed you how much he cared for you, but it would not be the last.

For some reason, your coworkers were agitated when you came in, but you were too distracted to ask them what was on their mind. Instead, you told Oliver about it. He didn't text back immediately, which made you frown. Your soulmate had an habit of always answering you as soon as you texted him, that he would not do it for the first time in three weeks was a bit surprising.

You went through the day as best as you could, your mind busy thinking about your soulmate and what you two would do when you finally met. There were so many things you wanted to show him, so many places to go, so many people to meet...

And, for now, you would not be able to show him any of it.

Because he lived in Manchester and you didn't.

Thinking about this all day long was enough to damper your mood and you were almost scowling by the time you finished work. By now, your coworkers giggling and whispering had become almost too grating to bear and it took all your strength not to snap at them. You were a reasonable adult, however, so, instead, you picked up your belongings and left the building in a hurry, taking out your phone to text Oliver as soon as you got on the street.

You were so busy looking at the screen that you didn't almost ran into someone else when you stepped outside. Flushing, you stammered out an apology, raising your eyes to see the face of the person, the man, you had almost toppled over.

You recognized it instantly.

The same soft brown hair you had pined over for months now, the same loving eyes that had looked at you through a screen during endless midnight calls. He smiled when you gasped and, slowly, reached out to touch your cheek. His expression was tender, loving even and, when he spoke, he sounded so happy that you felt like you could cry :

"Sorry for dropping by unanounced."

He bent forward a little and whispered in your ear :

"I really wanted to see you."

He drew back but, before he could get too far away, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and, brutally, dragged him forward. You had dreamed about this for months, were despairing over it not ten minutes ago. There was no way you would let him go away when he was here, so close to you.

You kissed him.

And it was wonderful.

 

[Comment as  **Hesperus** ]

~~This is ridiculous~~

[Comment as  **Hesperus** ]

~~I wish things were as easy as this~~

[Comment as  **Hesperus** ]

~~The Oliver Wood in this story sure sounds like the perfect gentleman. Somehow, I don't think this is quite accurate. Don't forget the bloke was caught shirtless at a party, this is why this situation happened in the first place. If you want to romanticise him then so be it but perhaps make it a little more realistic? I don't think he would be that caring of a soulmate, or he would have found his own soulmate by now. Better, he would not have been caught on camera with his mark showing. I mean, it's an owl, on his chest. Not exactly that hard to hide. I would be willing to bet that his soulmate has never accidentally shown his to anyone. Because it's on his chest. It's just very easy to hide. Oliver Wood is not that great of a person and you shouldn't~~

[Comment as  **Hesperus** ]

~~This story has a sweet beginning but I feel like Oliver is perhaps a bit too idealistic? Just an idea to make this a bit more~~

[Comment as  **Hesperus** ]

~~I~~

 

\---

 

**Penny (3:22) Still no luck?**

**> Penny (3:30) What do you mean?**

**Penny (3:34) With Wood.**

**> Penny (3:36) Ah**

**> Penny (3:40) Not really**

**> Penny (3:45) I don't really see the point.**

**Penny (3:51) We talked about this!**

**Penny (3:54) There is no point to be had, he's your soulmate, you should at least try to contact him!**

**> Penny (3:58) Maybe I did.**

**Penny (4:00) Don't be ridiculous, I know you didn't.**

**Penny (4:02) Percy, you need to talk to him.**

**> Penny (4:10) I don't want to talk about this.**

 

\---

 

 **To :** Oliver Wood

~~Hello!~~

 **To** : Oliver Wood

~~Hello, sorry to contact you so late but I think I might be your soul~~

**To** : Oliver Wood

~~Hi, I'm Percy. A week ago when that picture of you went viral I noticed that we shared the same soulmark so I thought it would be better to contact you to let you know. If you want to talk about this, don't hesitate to DM me back, I'll even give you my phone number. I'm honestly a bit anxious to talk to you, especially after all this time spent listening to people talking about you.~~

**To :** Oliver Wood

~~I hope I'm not bothering you~~

**To** : Oliver Wood

Hello!

**[We are sorry but this user has disabled direct messages]**

 

\---

 

 

 **Mum (11:20)**   **So, how are things going with Oliver ? We haven't heard any news from you in a while! >:(**

 **Penny (1:12)**   **Have you talked to him?**

 **Madeleine (1:30)** **Percy, we are going to need you first thing tomorrow. If you see any member of the press, don't talk to them.**

 **Bill** **(2:46)**   **are you coming on saturday?**

 **Mum (3:38)** **Perce???**

 **Andrew (4:20)** **Have you read the file I just sent? I need your opinion ASAP**

 **Arthur Weasley (4:35)** **Percy, your mother is worried. Can you please call her back?**

**Bill (5:01) Fred and George told me they'll come, and I think Charlie will be here too. It'd be nice to have everyone at home for once.**

**Bill (5:10) what do you think?**

**Bill (5:13) Mum would be happy**

**Bill (5:17) Percy, this is important.**

**Cedric (5:43)** **hey mate I kinda want to eat chinese tonight. Mind if I go grab some before coming home?**

 **> Cedric (5:45)** **Chinese sounds fine.**

 

\---

 

**Oliver Wood on his soulmark [Complete Interview]**

129, 370 views

[ _The video starts in the middle of a talk show, just as Oliver enters the room, dressed in slacks and a white shirt. The camera follows him as he goes to sit on the couch in front of the interviewer, the famous Rita Skeeter, and zooms in on his face when he smiles at her_ ]

RITA : Oliveeeer. Looking handsome!

OLIVER : Thank you. I had some help, though.

RITA : Humble as always! Tell me, how does it feel to be the most eligible bachelor in the UK?

OLIVER : [ _looking a bit uncomfortable_ ] Well... I can't say I'm really a bachelor, I do have a soulmate after all.

RITA : One that probably knows who you are by now! [ _she laughs_ ]

OLIVER : Yes, probably. I mean, the picture's been shown pretty much everywhere by now. I think even the Queen has seen it.

RITA : Oh she definitely has! To be fair, it's a very good picture. We can tell you're an athlete.

OLIVER : Thank you?

RITA : So! Have your soulmate contacted you yet?

OLIVER : Well...

RITA : Let me guess, they haven't dared to reach out? Perhaps they're afraid of your fame, too shy to make the first step? Do you think they are watching right now? If so, is there anything you would like to say to them?

OLIVER : Well actually ...

RITA : Hm?

OLIVER : A lot of people have reached out actually.

RITA : Really?

OLIVER : Perhaps a bit too many, even.

RITA : Oh my. How could that be? Don't you want to find out who your soulmate is?

OLIVER : I do! It's just that, most of the time, the people that send me messages are not actually my soulmate.

RITA : Ooooh so this is a Prince Charles situation.

OLIVER : I think so, yes.

RITA : Have people sent you fake pictures?

OLIVER : Quite a few.

RITA : Tattoos?

OLIVER : Yes.

RITA : Well this is sooooo unfortunate! You must be disappointed, surely.

OLIVER : A bit yeah. At first I really thought they were being genuine and it was really my soulmate or someone who knew them trying to contact me. Turns out the world doesn't work like that.

RITA : So, even though your mark is now known worldwide, you don't think this is going to help you find your soulmate?

OLIVER : I think it's making it even harder, honestly. I'm starting to get suspicious of anyone who tries to text me right now. These people... Well. [ _He turns to look directly into the camera_ ] If any of you is listening right now, please stop sending me fake pictures.

RITA : Do you think this will be enough?

OLIVER : I hope so. Don't think so, though.

RITA : People are reeeaaally determined to get their hands on you. Any idea why?

[ _The video goes on for five more minutes of Rita asking questions about Oliver's dating life and his eventual rise as captain of the English National Team_ ]

 

\---

 

**Pyrustales**

Imagine being Oliver Wood's soulmate.

Imagine waking up in the morning, seeing your mark on TV when you turn it on, on the frontpage of a newspaper, all over Twitter and Tumblr.

Imagine being afraid to talk to him because he's so hot and funny and famous. Imagine finally messaging him. Imagine feeling anxious and happy when he answers. Imagine chatting with him all night.

Then, imagine meeting him, imagine hugging him, spending time with him, going to his games, meeting his teammates. Imagine visiting Manchester with him, going abroad to follow him when he plays against another country.

Imagine being Oliver Wood's soulmate.

**Thanosspersonalbinch**

Imagine being so desperate that you'd rather be someone else's soulmate rather than your own's.

**Hyrulesmaster**

Imagine being so salty that you'd search for Oliver Wood imagine and then hate on the people who post them.

**Thanosspersonalbinch**

Lol you guys are crazy

 

\---

 

 **To** : Oliver Wood

~~Please answer me~~

**To** : Oliver Wood

~~I'm~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having fun with this.


	3. Percy's Adventure Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epic, climactic ending to this whole mess.
> 
> (There will be an epilogue)

Despite's Bill insistence that he go, Percy didn't actually make the trip to the Weasley family lunch this Saturday. Instead, and despite his superiors' complaints and half-veiled threats, he took the day off and jumped into a train headed straight for Manchester. Penny would have a field day, once she heard about what he had just done and he, himself, could barely believe what he was currently doing himself. It was as if his body was on auto-pilot. He did not think before entering the train, did not ponder the consequences of his actions or the fact that talking back to his boss like he had before leaving would no doubt put his career in danger, he just acted.

As he sat there, sifting through the various social media accounts he had created to keep up with the absolute shitfest that was his, unfortunately, very public and very out of his control love life, he wondered what the hell he was thinking, leaving everything behind to go join some man he had never met before and whom he had only ever seen through shirtless selfies and promotional pictures in magazines. There was no mistaking the fact that he was his soulmate, their mark proved that, but still, he couldn't but fear that he was making a terrible mistake and that he should head back as soon as he could.

But then if he did that it would mean another month at least of seeing his soul mark being plastered everywhere and of having to listen to people theorising about his true identity when he was standing  _right in front of them_. It would mean another month of awkwardly watching Oliver Wood interview next to a giggling Penny and another month of his mother's embarrassing text messages. He didn't want to deal with that, didn't want to deal with the stress and the uncertainty anymore so, when he woke up this morning, he decided that he would fix this before nightfall and that he would not come back home until his goal was achieved.

See, Percy might not be as outwardly reckless as his younger brother and his only sister, who were both prone to ending up in strange and vaguely dangerous situations, and he wasn't the kind of person to gamble his whole life away on the off chance of success, like Fred and George had when they had started their brand and decided to quit high school, right in the middle of the year. He wasn't like Charlie, who had no trouble taming wild animald and helping rehabilitate beasts that could kill him in one bite, or with one swipe of their paws. He wasn't like Bill, who ended up in the hospital after stopping a mugging attempt on his future wife, back when they didn't know each other yet. He wasn't like that, but he was brave in his own way.

You had to be brave in politics, or you would never succeed at anything. One day, you had to throw yourself out there and fight for your survival and this was what Percy had been doing for the past few years, ever since he had decided that, along with getting his master degree, he wanted to start his career in politics early. He had tried and he had succeeded and, now he was hoping that the miracle would work again, that being brave would prove as successful for him as it had before, that he could end all this stupidity with a bit of courage and a hint of his family's trademark fighting spirit.

So here he was, in the train from London to Manchester, glancing nervously at his phone and hoping desperately that he hadn't just made the biggest mistake in his entire life.

The car he was in was full of passengers, most of them barely awake since it was only six in the morning and they had been on the rails for more than one hour now but Percy, despite not getting a wink of sleep this night, was feeling perfectly alert and aware. If anything, he was even more on edge than usual, pushed to his limits by the stress of weeks of uncertainty and longing. To calm his nerves, he tried to read for a bit but, upon noticing that, in his great stupidity, he had only taken one book and it was a romance story about two soulmates finding each other, he ended up going back to his phone, where the reddit thread he had been lurking in before was animatedly debating whether or not a picture posted at the top of it was fake or not.

r/owlmark had been created the very morning after the now infamous picture of Oliver Wood's soulmark had been released to the world and, like its name indicated, it was entirely dedicated to discuting said mark and who was Oliver's potential mate. Most of the posts ended up being pretty terrible photoshops or tattoos of a fake soulmark and, therefore, most of the comments where trashtalks dedicated to the person who had posted said fake soulmark. There were also a few discussions about whether or not Wood would make a good pair with one celebrity or another but those topics didn't interest Percy much.

What interested him were the fake marks, the one he could comment on, the one he could trashtalk. Because Percy Weasley, polite and posh Percy Weasley, would never be caught dead talking in a vulgar manner or insulting someone but, in a time where he needed to vent more than ever, Reddit seemed like the perfect place to unwind a bit. Since the moderators of the Owlmark subreddit were more than willing to let their users bully mercilessly the fake soulmarks posted on there, Percy had no qualms about doing so himself. He felt angry, he felt stressed out and, more than that, he felt extremely offended. How dare these people pretend to be him, wasting his time and Wood's? Everything would be much simpler if they could just let them be and let the nature of soulmarks run its course, just like it was supposed to do.

[PIC]

 

⇧ Vote ⇩

_**Best Comments** _

**AloeVerapa • 2h**

How about -- no?

**OlàThere • 2h**

Jabba?? Is that you?

 

 **MrCanniballoon • 1h**  

Yet another example of why you shouldn't let kids use the internet.

**ultimaweaponxx • 1h**

Mom?? Is that you?

**VindictiveStrigiforme • 5m**

There's so much blending that this could be a bloody smoothie

 

He was busy glaring at yet another picture of a stranger's chest and lamenting over how fake all of these supposed "soulmarks" where when he realised something that must have seemed obvious to pretty much everyone but him. Sure, now that a few weeks had passed and now that some artists had had time to acclimate themselves with the famous owl drawing, a lot of the fake marks tended to look a lot like the real deal, almost like exact copies even, sometimes, but, had he came out the day after Wood's photo appeared in the newspaper, with his perfectly indentical soulmark, he would most likely have been taken seriously and this entire mess could have been over sooner.

But then, even if he didn't mind a bit of publicity (he had to keep in the eye of the press, it was his job after all), he wasn't sure that, at the time, he would have been ready for the media storm that came crashing upon Wood as soon as the picture aired. Plus, baring his chest for the world to see was something he wasn't very keen on doing. Unlike his soulmate, he was rather on the skinny side of the spectrum and didn't have well-defined abs and powerful arms to show off. Oh, and also his brothers would never have let him live it down had he stripped in front of the entire nation.

With a sigh, he closed reddit and wandered over to Tumblr, where he found most of his pathetic fanboying content. He had way too many gifs of Wood playing football on his personal phone than he dared to admit and he had lost count of how many pictures of the man he had saved as well, the situation had truly gotten out of control.

One hour and an embarassing amount of self-indugent fanfictions later, Percy found himself standing outside of the Manchester train station, wondering why, instead of the romantic snowfall he had read about in that one stupid fanfiction a few days ago, he had to meet his soulmate on a rainy day. It wasn't any kind of rain, either, it was the kind that would drench you in a second if you stood under it, the kind that was so dense that you'd have trouble seeing where you were walking and that no umbrella, coat or otherwise could protect you from the water falling from the sky.

Truly, he hated his life.

He found himself a bus shelter to hide under and wait until the rain either stopped or calmed down a bit and, after shivering for a good ten minutes, decided that he was done with all of this and that he would do what he had stopped himself from doing ever since he saw that damn picture and learned how much it had affected the world around him. He opened his Twitter account, his official one, the one on which he had a few thousands subscribers, most of them his colleagues or voters, and wrote down :

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

Currently in  **#Manchester**   **@OliverWood**

 

Not wanting to see the fallout of his impulsive decision, he stuffed his phone back into his pocket and scanned the streets around him for a coffee shop he could hole up in and plan for the rest of his day. Since he had gone to Manchester on a whim, he had no idea of what he was going to do in practice, just a vague outline of his plan tha went as follow : 1. Find Oliver Wood 2. Tell him I'm his soulmate 3. Punch him in the face. Soundless, as always.

He eventually found a little coffee place that seemed empty enough for mess around in. Now a bit tired from the lack of sleep, he order a triple espresso and went to sit as far away from the windows a he could, putting his bag next to him on an empty chair and opening his computer on the wooden table in front of him. This was a bit like working during his lunchbreak, he thought, as he browsed his mails and checked his text messages, except this time he hadn't slept all night and he was on a slef-imposed mission to meet his soulmate before the sun set.

Well, he had always worked better under pressure.

A quick glance back at his Twitter account showed that, in the thirty minutes since he had posted it, his Tweet had garnered some response. More, in fact, that what he was expecting. Puzzled, he read through the comments, biting on the nail of his thumb, stressed out.

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

Currently in  **#Manchester**   **@OliverWood**

  | **Penelope Clearwater** @PennyLemy

   No. No way. You arse! You didn't even warn me!

 

  | **Bill Weasley** @BilliamWeasliam

   I'm gathering this means you aren't coming today...

 

  | **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

  Percy? Are you making ... a rash decision? Are you sure you're feeling alright?

   **#worried**   **#currentlyatmum's**   **#youshouldbeherebro**

      **IGnarly** @SkySkater

     wait-- is this percy bloke from your family?

      **HollowKnightess** @shovelandchill

     Can't believe Gred and Forge have a brother who's in POLITICS

          **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

         We know, such a disappointment, such a disgrace to the family name! And the worst part is, he doesn't even come to Saturday lunches!

               **HollowKnightess** @shovelandchill

              And yet you still call him a brother, how merciful of you.

      **Furiouser Stranger** @speedrunningdisgrace

     Heeeeyyy your brother is joining in on the meme game

          **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

         The worst part is, he isn't actually, he's being serious. He's always being serious, actually, it's a bit scary.

               **Johnny P** @johnnynny

              Wait what

               **Amanda Brown** @amandabrown267

              Is he one of those guys that believe they're Wood's soulmate?

                    **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

                   I'm actually his soulmate.

                          **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

                         Holly molly! Percy! You! Here! How? Why?

                                  **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

                                 This is my Twitter page you idiots, of course I'm here.

                         **Amanda Brown** @amandabrown267

                        Wait what? You're actually his soulmate? Gred? Forge? Is your brother crazy?

                                  **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

                                 Yas lol

 

  | **Amanda Bones** @OfficialAmandaBones

   Mr Weasley, what is the meaning of this?

 

  | **Stitch Phone** @imcallinghome

   Oh great another crazy stalker

 

After wasting some time arguing with his brothers online, Percy eventually gave up the idea of making them stop taking the piss out of his situation and closed his computer, realising with a defeated groan that he had already drained his coffee and that he was going to need much, much more if he wanted to get through the day and keep his sanity intact. The barrista sent him a slightly worried look when she heard him order a large cup filled with as much shots of espresso as it was physically possible but he ignored her. He was already feeling dead inside, might as well make sure his body would match it.

Sitting back on his seat, he booted up his computer again and, this time completely ignoring his social medias, he looked up the location of the Man United training complex. Frowning when he learned that it was supposedly situated outside of town, next to a village called Carrington. He allowed himself a full minute of wallowing in self pity, his head resting on his forearms and his entire body slumping against the table, before he straightened up, grabbed his cup full of espresso shots and downed it in two gulps, which made the barrista stare at him in fascinated horror.

It was almost ten in the morning by now, and Wood had probably already started his training, which would make it hard for Percy to contact him directly. He still had no idea of what he would say to the man if he met him, beyond a very honest and heartfelt "screw you" (he might add a "cunt" or two, depending on his mood at the time) but he knew that he couldn't just stand by and wait for things to blow over. He had come all the way to Manchester to see that arsehole Oliver Wood and he was going to see him, no matter what he had to do to reach him.

His Uber driver stared at him with a long suffering look in his eyes when he explained where he wanted to go, clearly taking him for yet another crazy stalker and Percy, who was feeling both exhausted and extremely excited due to the unreasonable amounts of coffee he had taken, did not have it in him to contradict him. The bloke probably wouldn't even believe him anyways, all of the fakers had guaranteed that.

The first five minutes of the drive went relatively smoothly once he ignored the fact that his driver believed him to be an obsessed stalker but, after that time, things became to get a bit more complicated as, halfway to the training centre, they were caught inside of a traffic jam. The cars were packed together, which made it impossible for Percy to get out and walk the rest of the way, and the thing lasted for the rest of their supposedly short trip, making it last long past fourty five minutes, when it should only have lasted fifteen.

Percy still payed the driver what he was due, feeling that the poor guy was owed that at least, and walked slowly to the nearest bus shelter, which was surprisingly packed to the brim. With annoyance, he noticed that most of the people hiding from the rain were teenage girls, some of them even accompanied by their parents and that an alarming number of them were wearing Oliver Wood memorabilia. One particular girl had a shirt that was a print of Wood's abs, right over her own chest, something she was obviously proud of. Seeing his own mark displayed in that way made Percy wince and, distractedly, he rubbed at his own chest, where the owl drawing was still sitting.

He managed to elbow his way under the shelter and pressed himself against one of the glass panels, still running on the artificial kick of energy brought by the espressos. Wanting to catch his breath for a while, he decided to update his Twitter page. For some odd reason, now that he had posted the first part of his trip online, he felt compelled to put the rest of his story up there, somehow. Maybe some part of him hoped, foolishly, that Wood would stumble upon it. Maybe it was just a way to communicate with his family and friends without actually having to call them. Maybe he was just pissed because everybody had been doing it before and he, Wood's actual soulmate, wanted to be able to do it too. 

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

I am now next to  **#Carrington** why are there so many teenage girls?  **@OliverWood**

 

This time, everyone seemed to be on edge since the replies flooded in as soon as he hit the  **[post]** button. With a smile he noticed that most of his family members had joined what he was now considering to be a live conclusion to his month of suffering, transcribed through Tweets.

 

 **Percy Weasley**  @PercyWeasley

I am now next to  **#Carrington**  why are there so many teenage girls?  **@OliverWood**

 

| **Penelope Clearwater**  @PennyLemy

   Oh my god I swear I want to kill you but at the same time... go Percy!!!!!

 

  | **Charlie "dragon tamer" Weasley** @beastboi

   Percy istg everyone here is on their phone, this is your fault

      **Charlie "dragon tamer" Weasley** @beastboi

     Why are you doing this to us?

          **Charlie "dragon tamer" Weasley** @beastboi

         I want you to know that Fred and George are taking bets on whether or not you're going to get arrested by the security guards

 

  | **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

   Unleash your inner teenage girl Percy, force your way to the stadium, tackle a bodyguard, conspicuously grab Wood's dick.

      **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

     When I'm back in London I'm going to murder you.

          **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

         You'll have to catch us first!

              **Amazing Tim** @timsparkles

             What the hell is even happening there???

 

  | **Ron Weasley** @cardiffhero

   pErCy youre going to meet oliver wood wtf

      **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

     Calm down Ron, we can see you drool

          **Ron Weasley** @cardiffhero

         percy get an autograph for me

              **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

             The only thing he's getting is that dheuhjfdzushcnsk,c

                      **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

                     Hello this is Fred and George's mother, Molly, I am taking their phones away as they are using rude language. Good luck Percy ^^ !!!!!!

                             **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

                            Thanks mum.

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

Apparently they've forbidden access to the centre and no one can get in  **@OliverWood**

 

  | **Penelope Clearwater** @PennyLemmy

   Break in.

 

  | **Ron Weasley** @cardiffhero

   break in

 

  | **Charlie "dragon tamer" Weasley** @beastboi

   Break in lol

 

  | **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

   Percy don't break in!!!!! This is your mum

      **Ron Weasley** @cardiffhero

     this is never going to be not funny

          **Bill Weasley** @BilliamWeasliam

         I agree, don't break in

 

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

This is so annoying... countless of lying arseholes were able to go in but now that I'M here it's closed to the public?  **@OliverWood**

 

 **Percy Weasley**   @PercyWeasley

Kill me please  **@OliverWood**

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

I mean how unlucky do you have to be in life??  **@OliverWood**

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

First of all that idiot Wood gets his picture taken and plastered all over the newspapers  **@OliverWood**

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

Thanks a lot cunt  **@OliverWood**

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

And then every arsehole who read the Beginner's Guide to Photoshop tries to copy my bloody mark  **@OliverWood**

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

How hard it is to mind your own business??? To leave other people alone?  **@OliverWood**

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

And then THIS. If there is a god please kill me now, my life is meaningless and im bloody tired, if this door doesn't open in the next ten minutes im climbing the bloody fence  **@allofyoudickheadsouthere**

 

  | **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

   Out all of the things that we thought would happen today, this is by far the most unexpected and yet the greatest.

      **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

     Are you going to shave your head Percy?

          **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

         Don't worry, even if you had a social media meltdown, he's still going to want your dhfjebdscnjksld

               **Weasley Wonderful Wheezes** @Gred &Forge

              Hello there! This is Molly again, Fred and George's mum. Don't climb the fence Percy! This a bad idea!

                   **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

                  Screw you

                          **Percy Weasley** @Percy Weasley

                         not you mum, im talking to fred and george

 

  | **Marcus Flint** @officialmarcusflint

   Look, I don't like Wood but this is by far the greatest soap opera I've ever watched

      **Alisson Starz** @footballsoccerlover

     Wow OwO whats this 

      **Flint n1 Fan** @woodsuxx

     omgggg what is happening in carrington

      **Joey Pusheen** @catcatcattactac

     I don't know what's happening but I want him to  **#climbthefence**

          **Lukas Vador** @pshpshluke

          **#climbthefence** !!!!!

                **Maohi Aka** @redmanredbull

                **#climbthefence** lets get this to trending bois

                      **Bubble Tea Princess** @princessSara

                      **#climbthefence**

 

  | **G. Weasley** @betterthanyou

   Percy what's happening you're on trending

      **G. Weasley** @betterthanyou

     Percy you're Twitter famous!

          **G. Weasley** @bettertanyou

         This is the best day of my life, I can't stop laughing

 

  | **Alan Walkman** @backtoalan

   If he does climb the fence he does realise that he just announced that hes going to do it to the entire internet? He's going to get caught

 

  | **Dolores Umbridge** @UndersecretaryUmbridge

   What is the meaning of this?

      **Dolores Umbridge** @UndersecretaryUmbridge

     I can't believe this, that a member of PARLIAMENT would disgrace himself in such a way

          **Marcus Flint** @officialmarcusflint

         Wait-- this guy is a MP??? omg  **@chochangofficial** this is too funny

               **Cho Chang** @chochangofficial

              Flint, what the hell is this?

 

 **Percy Weasley** @PercyWeasley

I'm climbing the bloody fence.  **@OliverWood**

 

  | **Marcus Flint** @officialmarcusflint

   Don't do this guys, this is creepy. On another note, this guy is my bloody hero

      **Gentle Pepe** @strokemefriend

     I can't believe this shit

 

 **Oliver Wood** @OliverWood

What's happening? Why is everyone tweeting at me about a fence?

 

  | **Marcus Flint** @officialmarcusflint

   WOOD RUN HES COMING FOR YOU

 

\---

 

Climbing fences was not part of Percy's daily habits but he was fueled by a potent and rather unhealthy mix of severe sleep deprivation and caffeine (he had managed to get his hand on a mug of coffee while he was waiting in front of the centre) as well as the accumulated frustration of a month spent staring at his soulmate, unable to reach out and contact him. Therefore, even if he had no idea of what he was doing, he managed to haul himself up above it, his limbs fueled by pure spite. Below him, a small crowd had assembled, some members of it having started to chant, in rythm, "climb the fence" at him. Once he reached the top, he turned back towards them and gave them a two finger salute, fully intending the offense, before dropping back down on the other side of the fence, landing in the grass and, overjoyed, they began cheering wildly, someone even yelling his name (that they must have gotten from his Twitter account) at the top of their lungs. Annoyed, he decided to ignore them and began instead his search for his soulmate.

Unbeknownst to him the video of him climbing that damn fence and then turning back to the crowd would become an instant internet sensation, reaching over 15 million views on youtube. A shirt would even be made out of the heartfelt salute he had given his "supporters", as they would later call themselves. Even once the hyper surrounding Oliver Wood's mark died down, Percy Weasley would never fully escape his unfortunate internet fame.

But, as he walked around the complex, looking everywhere for a sign of his soulmate, Percy couldn't care less about the fact that he was about to become the greatest meme of 2018, or that his brothers were going to do their best to never let the "climb the fence" movement fade into oblivion. Instead, he was solely focused on finding Wood and, once and for all, proving to him that they were soulmates. It was too late to go back now, he was trespassing and it had been caught on camera, considering the number of phones that had been pointed at him as he broke into the place. His job was already done for anyways, after his embarassing Twitter meltdown, he might as well get a soulmate out of this mess.

Despite the fact that the rain had stopped falling for a good hour, he was still pretty cold, and pretty wet too, and being outside did nothing to help. He couldn't really go inside the building, though. The security guards probably already knew that there was an intruder on the grounds and he would be much easier to catch if he entered the actual center. He would have to stay outside and hope that Wood would come out eventually, perhaps to play in one of the fiel-

Abruptly he stopped, eyes widening. He had just passed a corner of the building and walked right into a football field occupied by a large number of players, most of them talking, some of them stretching and, a few, on the sides, looking at their cellphones and calling out to each other. A bit intimidated despite the fact that, in one day, he had already humiliated himself enough for a life time, Percy quickly scanned the faces of the men in front of him, blessing the fact that they had not noticed him yet. With a bit of luck, one of them could be--

Yes. Here.

He could see him.

He was here.

 

\---

 

**[LIVESTREAM] Fence man is on the hunt**

264,000 viewing

[ _The video is filmed from a cellphone, held in upright position, the cameraman is laughing, which makes the footage shaky. Around him, several people can be seen, most of them dressed in sports clothes, standing in a circle in the middle of a football field. While some of them clearly seem amused, some other look oblivious as to what is going on. At some point, the man holding the camera turns it towards Oliver and zooms in on his face, laughing all the while_ ]

MICHAEL : He doesn't know it but his life is in great danger...

ETHAN : [ _notices that something is going on and walks next to the camera. The phone is turned towards him and zooms in on his face_ ] Mike... Mike... Are you filming this?

MICHAEL : Yeah, I'm making a livestream, wouldn't want to miss it.

CORMAC : Miss what?

MICHAEL : Shut up! [ _he points at Oliver with his free hand_ ] He can't hear us!

CORMAC : Why not?

ETHAN : Man, trust us, shut up, this is going to be great.

CORMAC : Sure...

MICHAEL : [ _he turns the camera back to Oliver and zooms in dramatically on his eyes_ ] As I was saying, he doesn't know it but his life is in great danger. Ladies and gentlemen, Oliver Wood, the great, the beautiful, is currently being hunted by-

ETHAN : Shit Mike!

MICHAEL : What now?

ETHAN: Look to your left, don't make it obvious.

MICHAEL : [ _turns the camera to the left, where Percy can be seen, walking towards the group_ ] Holy shit.

ETHAN : I said don't make it obvious idiot.

MICHAEL : Mate, it's him. It's fence man.

CORMAC : Who the fuck's fence man?

MICHAEL and ETHAN : Shut up Cormac.

[th _e camera focuses on Percy, who doesn't spare it a glance as he walks past the three men, hands in his pockets and looking like he's about to kill someone. He has dark shadows under his eyes and his hair is messy, clearly, he's not been having a great day so far_ ]

[ _the camera turns to Oliver, who is starting to notice that something is going on. He looks up and frowns when he sees Percy approaching, not recognising him._ ]

MICHAEL : Shit, I have to catch this !

[ _The camera bounces as he runs to positions himself in the perfect place to catch the rest of the exchange : a few feet away from Oliver, on his left side, so that he can see both his and Percy's profile. He barely has time to focus the camera back on the two men before Oliver opens his mouth_ ]

OLIVER : Who...

[ _Percy doesn't leave him a chance to finish his sentence. Instead, he takes a deep breath closes his eyes and punches him in the face with all his might_ ]

MICHAEL : Holy fuck!

[ _Oliver falls to the floor, grabbing his cheek and Percy winces as he holds his hand, clearly in pain. Michael decides to zoom in on Oliver to see his reaction. His mouth is open and his eyes are wide, he's completely shocked, staring at Percy like he doesn't understand what is happening to him_ ]

OLIVER : Why did you do that?

PERCY : I'm your soulmate, arsehole.

OLIVER : Wh...

PERCY : Shut up. I'm done listening to you talk. Listen.

OLIVER : Uh...

PERCY : Listen! You're a cunt. You bloody ruined my life you cuck. The only reason I'm not strangling you right now is because of this bloke [ _He points at the camera and at Michael, who's behind it_ ] Get it?

OLIVER : I'm sorry?

PERCY : Not good enough.

[ _After glaring at Oliver one last time, Percy turns on his heels and walks away from the group, disappearing behind one of the corners of the building. The camera stays on the spot he was on for a few more seconds before turning back to Oliver, who still looks astonished_ ]

MICHAEL : Holy fuck.

OLIVER : What... what was that?

ETHAN : I think this guy was really your soulmate.

MICHAEL : Mate, you've got to go after him!

OLIVER : Shit, you're right.

[ _The phone follows Oliver as he jumps to his feet and runs after Percy, calling out for him to wait, despite not knowing his name. When he disappears behind the building, Michael turns the camera towards the rest of his teammates, who look as surprised as Oliver had, a few seconds ago. He finally decides to shove it in Cormac's face, zooming in until only his eyes, nose and mouth are visible_ ]

CORMAC : What the fuck just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Percy has a temper.
> 
> I DID NOT PROOFREAD THIS. I will do it later. It's like 3 where I live.


	4. Weasley Family Values (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this epic journey.

**• Family Fun Time With Gred and Forge • 11:30AM**

**Not-Fred :**  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxxxx]

 **Not-Fred :**  watch and learn, fam

 **Mum :**  ب_ب

 **Mum :**  What is this, Fred?

 **Not-Fred :**  I'm  **Not-Fred _,_** how many times do I have to teach you this lesson, old man?

 **Mum :**  Don't call me old man, young man.

 **Not-Fred :**  and to answer your question, it's a youtube video

 **Not-Fred :**  but it's not a simple, run of the mill youtube video

 **Not-Fred :**  this is actually art

 **Not-Fred :**  this is the Picasso of content

 **Not-Fred :**  the Van Gogh of comedy

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Since when do you know who Van Gogh is?

 **BallisLife.uk :**  And how do you know how to spell his name?

 **Not-Fred :**  How do YOU know how to spell his name?

 **BallisLife.uk :**  I'm friend with Luna?

 **BallisLife.uk :**  She knows everything about everyone, even dead, obscure, Spanish and Dutch artists.

 **Dad :**  I'm not sure you can call Van Gogh and Picasso 'obscure', sweetie.

 **BallisLife.uk :**  I'm sorry I disappointed you, dad.

 **Not-George :**  I'm not.

 **Scarface :**  Can you-- not do this right now?

 **Not-George :**  Why not? Creating drama is my purpose, it's what I was created for.

 **Mum :**  You were created because your father and I thought we could handle one more child.

 **Not-Fred :**  And could you?

 **Mum :**  Darling, we had two more children after you, you were barely a challenge.

 **BallisLife.uk :**  God, I love you mum.

 **Not-Fred :**  while all this is very sweet, can we go back to the part where I send you the best youtube video ever made and you all collectively cry at how beautiful and perfect it is?

 **Scarface :**  Is it another Climb the Fence meme compilation?

 **Not-Fred :**  ...

 **Not-Fred :**  noooooo?

 **Not-Fred :**  I promise, this one is much better than all the others I sent you before.

 **Not-George :**  Brother, I love you but for the good of this family, we've got to stop the memes.

 **Not-Fred :**  what

 **Not-Fred :**  am I being betrayed right now

 **Not-Fred :**  ???

 **Not-Fred :**  Forge???

 **Not-Fred :**  you were supposed to destroy the responsible adults, not join them.

 **Not-Fred :** I loved you like a brother

 **Not-George :**  I loved you too but I also love Oliver Wood and I really want his autograph

 **Not-George :**  And Percy will never let us meet him if we don't behave

 **Not-George :**  That evil, evil man.

 **Not-Fred :**  :(

 **Three Lions :**  Wait a minute

 **Three Lions :**  You called him Forge

 **Three Lions :**  Is  **Not-George**  actually George? Or is it Fred?

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Oh no

 **BallisLife.uk :**  They did it again.

 **Not-Fred :**  Ron, Ginny, your lack of understanding over the identity of your brothers,  _whomst you haveth been raisedth with_ , is disheartening but not the issue at hand.

 **Not-Fred :**  the issue at hand is that no one wants to watch my climb the fence meme compendium

 **BallisLife.uk :**  I've already seen them all.

 **Not-Fred :**  I knew you were my favourite sister for a reason, Ginny

 **BallisLife.uk :**  I'm your only sister, all the other ones managed to escape this mad house.

 **Mum :**  Well, thank you.

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Sorry mum

 **Mum :**  Oh it's quite fine, darling. I'll just remember to give all your Christmas presents to your boyfriend.

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Mum! Stop!

 **Not-Fred :**  Wait

 **Not-Fred :**  Ginny has a boyfriend?

 **Not-George :**  Ginny?

 **Three Lions :**  Who's this bloke?

 **Scarface :**  I'm suddenly very invested in this conversation.

 **Beastboi :**  ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

 **Beastboi :**  You guys are way too involved in Ginny's love life. She's not a baby, you know that?

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Thank you Charlie!

 **Three Lions :**  No but seriously, who is it?

 

**• Family Fun Time with Greg and Forge • 5:20PM**

 

 **Not-Fred :**  did any of you watch the video?

 **Three Lions :**  Sorry mate, I don't watch all the Percy stuff

 **Three Lions :**  I feel sorta bad for him now

 **Not-Fred :**  I can't believe it

 **Not-Fred :**  I live in a family of traitors

 **Not-George :**  Bro. Chill with the memes...

 **Not-Fred :**  if you say so bro...

 **Not-George :**  Ok, I love you bro...

 **Not-Fred :**  bro...

 **Dad :**  What is a 'bro'?

 **Three Lions :**  zjehldiauzj

 **Three Lions :**  dAd No

 **Not-Fred :**  A bro is love

 **Not-George :**  A bro is life

 **Not-Fred :**  A bro is the feeling you get when you down ten pints in a row in the middle of a crowded pub and wrestle with a short Irish man over some pocket change.

 **Three Lions :**  Bro is short for Brother, dad.

 **Dad :**  I know

 **Dad :**  I'm just doing the troll.

 **Dad :**  *winky face*

 **Three Lions :**  ...

 **Not-Fred :**  ...

 **Not-George :**  ...

 **Beastboi :**  wat

 

**BallisLife.uk changed the group name to "Stay-out-of-each-others-love-lives.chatgroup"**

 

**• Stay-out-of-each-others-love-lives.chatgroup • 8:36PM**

 

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Finally, the demons are gone

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Now we can talk about normal people things

 **Beastboi :**  The other day I ate a tarantula.

 **Three Lions :**  why would you do that to yourself

 **Beastboi :**  You deep-fry it and then you eat it

 **BallisLife.uk :**  I said "now we can talk about normal people things"

 **Beastboi :**  I know, I'm just talking about food

 **Beastboi :**  food is a normal people thing

 **Beastboi :**  Or I've been doing people-ing wrong

 **Three Lions :**  EATING A TARANTULA IS NOT A NORMAL PEOPLE THING

 **Beastboi :**  Maybe, but it's an  _interesting people_  thing at least.

 **Three Lions :**  No it's gross

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Charlie has a point, actually

 **Three Lions :**  istg if you ask mum to cook you tarantulas I WILL hunt down your boyfriend and I WILL kill him

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Bro

 **BallisLife.uk :**  I could break your spine like a glow stick

 **Three Lions :**  No you couldn't

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Well, we won't know until we've tried

 **Scarface :**  Kids, stop fighting

 **Scarface :**  Also, Charlie, Fleur thinks your eatings habits are weird

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Well of course. She's French. She probably thing every cuisine that isn't French is te _rrrrrrrr_ ible, right?

 **Scarface :**  No, she really likes Indian food.

 **Scarface :**  And Mexican food.

 **Scarface :**  She loves all spicy foods.

 **Scarface :**  But not tarantulas.

 **Scarface :**  I don't think tarantulas are very spicy.

 **Not-George :**  Maybe they aren't spicy but I aaaam

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Oh no, the demon is back

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Why oh why did you summon it?

 **Not-Fred :**  It's the spice, we can feel it, we can smell it, we can taste it

 **Not-George :**  Spice is life, baby

 **BallisLife.uk :**  I can't believe we're related

 **Scarface :**  Fleur can't believe she's related to most of you either.

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Well she's not

 **Scarface :**  ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

 **Scarface :**  Keep telling yourself that

 **Three Lions :**  What was that?

 **Scarface :**  That's me peeking from behind the border

 **Scarface :**  Judging you

 **Not-Fred :**  You can't judge us, you eat bread shaped like a dong

 **Scarface :**  That's called  _baguette_ , you uncultured swine.

 **Not-Fred :**  You still recognise it

 **Scarface :**  Baguette is shaped like a magnificient spear and I'm going to stab you with it.

 **Scarface :**  'tis only in jest, of course.

 **Scarface :**  Let's not squabble over such things.

 **BallisLife.uk :**  God, I miss you Bill.

 **Scarface :**  I miss you too <3

 **BallisLife.uk :**  <3

 **Not-George :**  Oh no, this is getting wholesome

 **Not-George :**  Quick, I must abscond this groupchard

 **BallisLife.uk :**  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you banish a demon.

 

**• Stay-out-of-each-others-love-lives.chatgroup • 9:54PM**

 

 **Percy :**  I'd watch that youtube video.

 

**• Stay-out-of-each-others-love-lives.chatgroup • 10:31PM**

 

 **Not-Fred :**  I'm sorry-- what?

 **Percy :**  Hi! :)

 **Percy :**  I'd watch that youtube video.

 **Not-Fred :**  really?

 **Percy :**  Of course!

 **Percy :**  ^^

 **Not-Fred :**  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxxxx]

 **Not-Fred :**  I feel like you're going to kill me afterwards but I'm fine with that

 **Scarface :**  Guys, some of us are trying to sleep.

 **Scarface :**  Wait is that Percy?

 **Scarface :**  Is he watching your meme video?

 **Scarface :**  Did you drug him?

 **Not-Fred :**  no

 **Not-Fred :**  but he's probably drunk

 **Not-Fred :**  also I'd never drug my brother

 **Not-Fred :**  my own flesh and blood

 **Scarface :**  You gave him weed brownies once and made him think it was mum's chocolate cake.

 **Not-Fred :**  oh yeah that was hilarous 

 **Scarface :**  No, it was dangerous. Don't give people drugs against their consent.

 **BallisLife.uk :**  all of you shutup im trying to sleep

 **Not-Fred :**  are you sleeping with your boyfriend?

 **BallisLife.uk :**  shhutup cunt

 **BallisLife.uk :**  wait a minute

 **BallisLife.uk :**  wasthat perrcy?

 **Scarface :**  Yes.

 **Not-Fred :**  yeah

 **Percy :**  No :D

 **Not-Fred :**  

 **Percy :**  That video was funny x)

 **Percy :**  But also a bit odd

 **BallisLife.uk :**  wait if thats not percy

 **BallisLife.uk :**  are you his roommate?

 **Percy :**  No I'm not Cedric ^^"

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Penelope?

 **Percy :**  No :P

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Oh

 **BallisLife.uk** **:**  My

 **BallisLife.uk :**  God

 **Percy :**  What ? :1

 **BallisLife.uk :**  I need time to process this

 **Three Lions :**  OLIVER WOOD

 **Percy :**  :)

 **Percy :**  Yeah

 **Percy :**  That's me

 **Percy :**  Percy fell asleep and his phone kept buzzing and I saw that it was you guys

 **Percy :**  Sorry 'bout that

 **Three Lions :**  DON'T APOLOGISE

 **Three Lions :**  NEVER APOLOGISE

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Ron...

 **Percy :**  Haha... ok?

 **Three Lions :**  Hey goalie I'm a Oliver too!

 **Not-Fred :**  oh

 **Not-Fred :**  oh  _yes_

 **Three Lions :**  Ah!

 **Three Lions :**  I meant

 **Three Lions :**  Hey Oliver I'm a goalie too!

 **Percy :**  Cool!

 **Percy :**  I didn't know Percy's siblings liked football

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Oh, we don't like football

 **BallisLife.uk :**  We  _are_  football

 **Percy :**  Hm.

 **Percy :**  I get why Percy said that you guys were intense now.

 **Not-Fred :**  looks like Percy talks about us a lot, hey?

 **Percy :**  Sometimes

 **Percy :**  So you like football?

 **Not-Fred :**  yes

 **BallisLife.uk :**  Obviously.

 **Three Lions :**  Yes!!!!

 **Percy :**  What do you think about Marcus Flint?

 **Not-Fred :**  He's a cunt.

 **BallisLife.uk :**  He's a dickhead.

 **Three Lions :**  Hey! He's not that bad

 **BallisLife.uk :**  You're a Cardiff supporter Ron, your opinion is worthless.

 

**Percy changed his username to "Percy (and Oliver)"**

 

 **Percy (and Oliver) :**  I feel like we're going to be great friends :)

 

\---

 

[ _Picture : A photo of a large table around which the Weasley family is seated. Fred is the one holding the phone, making a peace sign with his free hand, and behind him Percy is scowling, looking like he wants to tear the phone from his hand. Next to him, Oliver has an arm around his shoulder and looks like he's trying to convince him not to strangle his brother. All the other persons in the family seem happy to be here and are smiling at the camera, apart from Ginny, who's laughing at Percy's frustration._ ]

 **gredweasley :**  Finally, the man meets the meme.

**23 538 likes**

**oliverwood :**  Nice to meet you all!

 **j4yl33n :**  a fitting conclusion to a thrilling saga

 **beastboi :**  Percy looks like he's going to murder you

 **supahman :**  My babies are all grown up, what am I going to do now?

 **9yobb :**  beautiful, im shaking rn

 **forgeweasley :**  The most beautiful love story of the XXIst century.

 **percyweasley :**  I made an account just for this. Please die.

 

\---

 

"What are we going to tell our kids?"

Already half-asleep, it took Oliver more time than he cared to admit to understand Percy's question and, once he had, he couldn't help but frown slightly. He rolled on his side to face his soulmate, who still looked wide awake despite the late hour, and asked :

"What do you mean?"

Percy bit his lip and muttered, sounding a bit embarrassed :

"I mean... How are we going to tell them how we met?"

"Ah. You mean a soulmark story?"

He watched as the other man nodded, the movement almost indistiguishable in the darkness of the bedroom. Despite the fact that his flat was located smack in the middle of London, Percy still managed to keep it relatively spared from the usual street lights that came with living in the city, something Oliver had not maanged to replicate, back in Manchester.

"Don't we already have one?" he wondered, thinking about their first meeting and all that had led up to it. It had been beyond everything he had ever imagined, both in a bad and in a good way.

"We do-- but it's-- I mean--"

"I think it's a great story." Oliver shrugged, now feeling more than a bit confused. Sure, the tale of their meeting wasn't conventional, and he did look like a bit of an arse for the most of it, but it was  _theirs_  and it was unique. Quite honestly, he wouldn't give it up for the world.

"You do?"

Percy sounded truly surprised at that, as if he truly hadn't expected Oliver to answer that, to tell him that the way they had met had been enough, more than enough, in his opinion. The footballer couldn't help but smile at that. If he weren't so tired, he'd probably have kissed his soulmate by now.

Oh, screw that.

He leaned over and kissed Percy's face. Since it was so dark, it was a bit hard to aim and he probably ended up smooching mostly his cheek and not his mouth like he intended too, but it was the intention that mattered, right?

"I think our meeting was awesome."

"Even if I punched you?"

"Especially because you punched me."

Percy laughed, sounding a bit more tired now.

"You're ridiculous."

Oliver was about to retort with a remark of his own when Percy's phone suddenly buzzed. Since he worked under the Minister of Foreign Affairs, he had to keep it on at night, in case of an emergency, which often caused them to wake up at ungodly hours. With a groan, Oliver hid his head under a pillow while his soulmate checked his messages, not missing the exhausted sigh he let out once he finished reading whatever had just been sent to him.

"Emergency?" he wondered.

"No." Percy lamented. "Just Fred."

With his face lit by his smartphone's screen, it was easy to see the glare he levelled at Oliver's head. He looked like he blamed him for whatever was happening.

"He sent you another meme video."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this story ! I might write more stuff in this universe one day (probably focusing more on Oliver since he barely talks in this fic lmao) and, if I do, I'll make a series for it so it'll be easier to find :P  
> In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this fic and I thank you all for following it and especially for everyone who left kudos and commented!
> 
> Thank you all!


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